A Shard From Past

I crossed Narmada, two hours out of Bhopal. The train sped over a metal bridge, while all over the sky was a deepest crimson deepening to ink on the zenith. Boulder strewn Narmada lay under - wide, rippling, quenched in deepest colors of the dusk air.

I remember another crossing - in the early red hours of a dawn. A crossing, silent and cold, in a tiny boat - a crossing that tingled with fear. It was more than ten years ago and I was crossing Narmada at the Sardar Sarovar Project - the mega dam that has damned the river, its people, the land, forest - damned the whole notion of development - forever - in the eyes of us few. As expected, I was picked up by the police, on my solitary crossing, suspected to be a NBA jasoos (spy), and later released under strictest supervision making sure I left the state.

Yet, memories of that visit for me are colored with hope of an awakening, of witnessing the miracle of human spirit. I remember the valley, the meetings with people, the magnitude and the charged emotions of the protests, the impromptu, spontaneous, massive gatherings preceding the news of our arrival, the strong support and solidarity within the movement, the resolute, loud voices of those "who would not surrender" - their lands, forests, lives to the virtual Gods of those in the cities, the Blind Greed Gods that ruled from far, their fates to squeeze out that last ounce, last breath, the last tiny bit they needed to live on.

Today, twenty five years later, the demands of those ousted by Narmada dams remain the same - rehabilitation, resettlement, a chance to eke out a living. It was, and continues to be to this day, a fight by the victims to access their basic human right - the right to life and livelihood, right to some meager compensation for their large displacement. Government continues to repress those that dare raise a voice, even a voice for their own survival, with illegal physical brutality, and imprisonment - this despite high court ruling on the issue of compensation and resettlement. Yet, our State has become larger than our courts - it can flagrantly disregard justice, even small justice wrenched out decades later.

The Question to now ask of ourselves is " WHY AND HOW LONG SHOULD WE SLEEP ?"

Floods in Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh

" The waters rose by a foot every five minutes and reached the third storey of buildings!" That is what the man said. And he also said " In last twenty years, the forests have disappeared, and with it the root systems that act as sponges to trap the water and pull it in" - and so the story goes, on and on, the history repeating itself consistently and more frequently with passing time

Losses, in terms of human lives, have been staggering, displacements - colossal, loss of livelihood, habitats, environment - enormous and mostly irreversible. None of this is unusual for India. Nor is the massive show of solidarity, support and the outpourings of sympathy for victims of natural disasters, such as this one, from people across nation.

The question to ask is, what would we do, as a nation, people, to ensure that such large scale disasters do not continue to be a part of our future? What would we go without, what aspects of our priorities would we change, to not have this happen, again and again? Will we not fell down our forests? not dam our rivers? not level our mountains or empty our mangroves? What would we not do - to avoid this fate on ourselves, and our fellow country people??

The most honest answer, it seems to me, is 'nothing' - we would not fore go any of our destructive practices, neither because these practices are wrong, nor because they pose a very real physical threat contributing directly to potential disasters, by removing safety valves that are naturally built into natural systems. By acts of deliberate human interference, we are in fact inducing man made calamities to befall us - naturally. And we do this, to be more developed, more progressed, more consuming...we sacrifice our land, water, forests, mountains, air, to have more - roads, malls, super deluxe colonies; more wealth, more cars, more possessions, more power, more comfort. We are becoming a nation of immoderate consumers ready to sacrifice a lot at the alter of Lakshmi. And then when the nature reacts, rebels, floods, fires, cracks its belly, we cry, shout, shame on nature - and then continue - as before.

And He Stands No Chance...

My friend sat beside me - we were finally speeding on a lonely highway taking us well outside the city limits. I hold my friend in respect, in very good regard, and admire him for certain qualities that he would never suspect. Anyway, as usual, the topic turned to children, parental expectations, children's dreams. Then my friend turned to me with a smile, and very sad eyes, and said " My son is a failure" - I could'nt believe I heard him right - and I still have not recovered from the impact of his words. How can one's child be a failure? What does that mean? What does it mean to say any human being is a failure? Two responses are immediately possible to counter this viewpoint. One, the presumption of defining success and failure can be questioned. Secondly, if one is sure of this, then, isn't it the parents who have failed??and the society? How can a child of fifteen or sixteen already be a failure. Moreover, does the child stand a chance? Doesn't a harsh parental judgment, brand him - for life? Who will tell the child " Dream, my son. Dream, and thou shalt fulfill"

A Quarter Century Later

Twenty Five years ago, the world changed for people of Bhopal. Million, trillion, gazillion words, memories, tears later, Bhopal is still attempting to recover from the worst chemical disaster recorded in human history.

I have evaded Bhopal till now - avoided reading more than the inescapable, feeling more than absolutely necessary, and reacting - not at all. Bhopal has been an unbearable reality that I preferred not to wake up to - for all these long twenty five years.

Next week I go to Bhopal - I go with my heart in a cracked crucible, my mind preparing excuses, my feet running fast and away - far away from Bhopal. Yet, I go to Bhopal, because I must - I need to confront Bhopal, bear the pain it will inflict, grow and forever be changed - I need to put myself through the fire that is Bhopal, burn in it, metamorphose to one that will no longer be a mute witness to other Bhopals that are being planned, dragged to alters of development and progress, blindfolded, lips taped, limbs tied; I will no longer avoid gaze, even in photographs, of children blind, deformed, born after the disaster; I will finally wipe clean the guilty haze that clouded my vision, free myself of personal shame that stopped me from ringing out a clear call to wake everyone " We will not let this happen again!"

Two Ways

If I were given two ways to effect change - social transformation, revolution, then this is what I would do...

When I was a little girl, I would often be awakened in the dark early hours by sounds of singing, chanting. This used to be a norm in those days...groups of people went around in 'mandalis' singing devotional songs, spiritual songs, songs to awaken not just the body, but also the heart. I remember lying awake to these songs, sometimes drifting back to sleep, but sometimes running to the balcony to watch the group of singers pass by. Mom would be up - invariable, getting started on her day's activities of running a household with four children. I have through the years often thought about these wakings - these arrivals of dawns with songs, and I have missed the singers. I have also thought, I could go around, in early dark hours, waking the world with songs, strumming of tamboora, the gentle rhythms of manjeera. These days of discovering Kabir, going around singing Kabir has renewed this desire. It occurs to me that if one were awakened to Kabir's songs of seeking - for truth, for meaning, for revolt against petty meaness in society, of divisive hatred, of love - boundless, all encompassing love, then many of the social ills would be erased - forever. Then lessons in equity, equality, need to be taught in classrooms (which they are not anyway) but would be imbibed deep inside, transformative lessons of recognising truth.

Many years later, I came across another revolutionary idea. A bunch of scientists used to go around, talking science to audiences of students from schools and colleges - basic science, the step wise rational process of science, the discoveries and stories of science. I was introduced to this concept by Sharath, an ex-collegue of mine. I still remember his message " If a society functioned on basis of a collective with individuals capable of posing questions and seeking their own answers, then many of the current social ills would automatically disappear." Also, " the scale of science from micro- to macro-, biology to astronomy, puts a particular human life in perspective - then caste, wars, hatred etc. becomes meaningless..." I remembered then, as now, how I enjoyed ending my lessons on stellar evolution with words " we are all star-dust" - a fitting perspective required to wipe out difference of relegion, sex, caste, race... None of these need to be preached overtly - it is enough to say " we are all truly just stardust" or study the processes that govern origin and evolution of life on Earth, and the wonder at it.

Given that there are many things I don't do, these are definitely two things that I think would be worth doing to "time-pass".

कविता

किनकी चीखे बरसी गरजते काले बादलो के साथ?
किसके आंसू समाये उचलती सागर की लहरों में?
कितने स्वप्न बिखरे सूखे सुनसान रेतो के सेहर?

ये जो मरे, मारे , बरबाद हुए,
उजाले की खोज में
घायल हुए आशा की चट्टानों पर
उजड़ गए आज़ादी की उम्मीदों पे

उनको बरबाद किया
इन आजाद देश के दलालों ने
तोला सोने के सिक्के से
बेचा लहू और भूखे इन्सानों से

यह नही पहचाना कि-
हम भी मरेंगे - मार उजाड़ कर
कुछ महेल, कुछ सिक्को कमा कर
अहंकार कि चोटी पर - हम भी मरेंगे!
धूल हो जायेंगे!
और नही छोडेंगे,
कोई गीत, कोए स्वप्न,
कोई उजाले कि परख-
कोई रंग, कोई सुर कि तलाश
सीर्फ खरीददार की समज,
और सोने की चमक,
बस, ...सीर्फ यह!!

Meeting Veerappa Moily - Our Minister for Law and Justice

For those of you that know me personally, also know this - I am an impatient person - too impatient to act, rather than a more prudent approach of think, consider, digest, before re-coursing to action. So after the usual ranting on the unfairness, unsoundness, the down right unacceptability, objectionability, crass unfair and meanness of the proposed Nuclear Liability Bill, I decided to do something about this...I contacted Nityananda Jayaram the author of the Tehelka story that first alerted me to this issue. And...based on his advice, yesterday I called up our Law and Justice Minister, Mr. Veerappa , Moily, and wonder of wonder, I was given an appointment...ok, I did cheat a bit, I did refer to myself with a "Dr." prefix, that I usually do not acknowledge, and also said "I am calling from IISc...", which is also true - I live here!

Today, I went at the appointed hour with my husband, who happens to be a bonafide IISc Professor, to meet the Minister. We were shown into an unassuming office with racks of interesting books. I was curious and looking through the bookcase when VM walked in. Since he was leaving back for Delhi in less than one hour, we got immediately to the point. We told him that we wanted to see him as concerned citizens deeply troubled with what we had read in the media.We had two points to make:1. The Nuclear Liability Cap Bill was the only legal gauruntee for future victims, in case of a nuclear disaster - and so had to be commensurate with the level of likely damages and 2. The nuclear industry in the US was responsible for $10 billion towards damages in case of a disaster event in their country and with our far higher population density, the extent of damage was certainly going to be far greater - another sentence on how another Bhopal could not be allowed to happen etc.

Through all of this, VM gave us his undivided, focused, quiet attention, accepted the literature that Atul (my husband) had accumulated from the internet, read the underlined portions, and agreed to look into the matter. He also graciously offered us tea/coffee, that we declined. We left, satisfied that we had been heard, our concerns aired to a receptive, intelligent human being, who seemed to have taken us seriously.

We planted a seed today and left.