I Confess

For a person particularly partial to Gandhian philosophy, ideals of austere simplicity and aspirations to frugality, I Confess, I am utterly, and dismally spoilt. I am spoilt by a taste of finer things in life, the decadence of self indulgence and appeasement of flesh and senses. I live in eternal guilt torn between lists of what I believe in and what I indulge in, seesawing between principles and greed, beliefs and habits. And then, occasionally I am directed, by outside forces, towards my right-action...and a just sometimes, I favor it.

For years now I have stood, absolutely guilty, in prolonged hot showers, chiding myself, scolding, gathering will power to step away, close the tap - save water, save energy, save the Earth - to deaf ears and an unheeding self. In a recent list of Enviromentaly friendly measures for city folks ( I am an avid reader of all that I do not do), I agreed that the most difference I could make was by taking cold showers! And so...the other day the geyser broke. Bangalore these days is a cool 25 degrees during day (at least inside IISc.) and tap water freezing - or so it seems. This was my chance to exercise mind-over-matter, a litmus test of my beliefs, a chance to live the Way.

For 5 days now, I have resolutely paused and pondered, willing to enter a shower of icy needles, soap and clean in a blink of an eye and re-emerge in two minutes flat - shivering, but smiling and victorious. Of course, I would have preferred the victory to be sweeter, warmer...

Meanwhile, the kids have immediately taken to using the other bath with a working geyser - NOT FAIR!